Do teachers deserve respect or should they earn respect?
By Rabbi S. Binyomin Ginsberg
Dean, Torah Academy, Minneapolis, Minnesota
The teaching profession is by far one of the most meaningful jobs in existence. Many rabbeim made impressions on me that I carry to this day.
In the 60s and 70s, students respected their rabbeim, obeyed the rules (most of the time) and this gave the rabbeim the opportunity to do their job. Teach and motivate.
We will all agree that students can only learn from someone they respect. The debate boils down to the question of whether the teacher has to earn respect or does the profession entitle him to respect.
Well let us take a look at chazal and see what they require. There are countless halachos illustrating and describing the respect and fear a talmid needs. Nowhere is it found that the talmid is only required to respect the rebbi if the rebbi deserved the respect. It seems to be clear that a rebbi per se must be given respect solely due to his job title and for no other reason and cause.
However, once we are referring to chazal regarding respect, there is something very critical that has to be highlighted. There are many whom we have to respect. We are enjoined to show respect to Hashem, to our parents, to our rabbeim and to our elders. Let us for a moment look at the laws of respect to a parent. There are very specific laws of respect that we must show a parent. Nowhere does it state that the parents have to respect the child.
When it comes to the rebbi, there are very specific laws about the respect the rebbi has to show the talmid. Let us analyze the words of the Rambam in Hilchos Talmud Torah Chap. 5. In halachah 12, the Rambam writes, “Keshem sh’hatalmidim chayavin ba’Kavod Harav, kach Harav tzarich lechabed es talmidav.” Literally, “Just as the students are obligated to respect the rebbi, so must a rebbi respect his students”.
I am not going to be as bold to explain and interpret the Rambam. However, it is very clear that a rebbi has an obligation to respect his students. It is also obvious that while there is a comparison made between the respect that the talmid must show hisrebbi and the respect that the rebbi must show his talmid, it is obvious that the Rambam doesn’t equate the manner by which respect is manifested. A rebbi doesn’t rise for the talmid as a sign of respect while a talmid does. I would like to suggest that theRambam is using the word ‘keshem – just as’ to equate the need for the rebbi to respect the talmid with the need for the talmid to respect the rebbe. It is there to indicate a level of importance.
While a rebbi deserves respect because of his profession, the respect is of much greater benefit when it is actually deserved. One way of deserving the respect from students is by respecting them.
Good rabbeim can guide, as well as educate a student. Maybe they will be the only ones to teach the child right from wrong in some areas. Our rabbeim deserve all the respect and support we can give them. They are the recipients of a wonderful opportunity to mold and make mentchin of our greatest natural resource, our children.
Despite living in this age and in a society that embraces so many false values and bestows its utmost prestige and highest tribute on those who make the most money, on those who are the most proficient and therefore the most acclaimed in the privileged spheres of entertainment, sports and politics, teachers are the ones to be admired and respected.
As a principal, I was once asked by a rebbi what can be done to show students respect. My immediate response was, “Recognize each student and let him know that he is recognized, that you know he is there, that you are interested in him, even if by a tap on the shoulder as he enters the classroom. Let him know that you see him and that you are glad he is here. Try to recognize those most of your students are in need of your attention. Challenge each of them to do his best to be the personHashem wants him to be. Finally, keep in mind that few students will remember much of the material you taught them. But all of them will remember how you treated them.” Rav Pam used to say, “Don’t teach subjects – teach students”.
Despite everything a rebbi does and all the respect he deserves and earns, it seems like it is not adequate to warrant the well-deserved respect, admiration and appreciation of parents, community and society in general. Rabbeim are often among the first to be blamed and the last to be given credit when problems arise. Sure, some parents and community leaders are supportive. And the rabbeim truly appreciate their encouragement. But it appears that no other field expects so much responsibility and returns so little respect as teaching.
Obviously, rabbeim aren’t in it for the material rewards. But there are innumerable ways to get personal rewards. And a single student success story can offer satisfaction in a big way. Still, rabbeim are only human. And we all need to know that we are appreciated, important, RESPECTED. So how about developing a little more of the attitude that makes it all worthwhile:
I would like to suggest five ways parents can gain respect for their children’s rabbeim and moros
1: Don’t Focus on the Money:
While our society may reward others very well and too well, rabbeim and moros just don’t get much of a share. If making money is the ambition and goal, teaching doesn’t seem to fill the bill. Don’t allow the meager salary to be influence how you view the rebbior morah. Don’t allow pay to determine how you value the professional.
Don’t focus on how much or how little the rebbi or morah is earning Others will follow suit if you help spread the word that not all professions offer material rewards, but few professions offer a chance to change lives forever, for the better, like that of a rebbi or morah.
2: Don’t Underestimate the Power of Positive Influence:
Few positions offer the opportunity to shape lives, to guide and influence like teaching. As a person of influence, one can be aware of the messages given to others: both in words and deeds. Rabbeim will be shown proper respect one step at a time, especially if we realize the inherent power and responsibility they hold in society.
3: Don’t Just Sit There, Take a Stand:
It’s not necessary or even advisable to have an opinion on every popular issue, but it is important to take a stand on those issues that matter most. From best teaching methods to character education, don’t hesitate to be better informed and to take a stand in order to share your beliefs and values. You will be amazed at how rich your discussions will become with the rabbeim and morosas a result of the knowledge you ave garnered. You will come to recognize that they are true professionals and deserving of your full respect.
Taking a stand does not mean you are always right; however, it does mean you are interested in getting to the heart of controversial and meaningful matters
4: Promote Professional Development and Growth:
One of the things that really makes a rebbi or morah great is their pursuit of advanced learning and professional growth in their field of expertise. A good educator knows that learning never ends. Promoting, providing for and appreciating a rebbi’s or morah’sparticipation in a professional development program will help you gain respect for the professional.
5: Why Did the Rebbi Choose To Teach?:
If you haven’t done so lately, take a moment to reflect on those ideals and beliefs that led the rebbi or morah to choose teaching as a career. More importantly, ask yourself, why do they stay? In answering that question, you define the way you see and value therebbi or morah, and the reason why you should show the respect due a rebbi. After all, those who can, do, and those who can do even more, teach.
The title of this article was “Teachers: Do They Deserve Respect or Should They Earn Respect?”. In summary, I would like to suggest that it is not one or the other. Their profession requires them to earn respect and our responsibility is to show them their well-deserved respect.
If you have been following the first two parts of this series, you will appreciate that we are at the final part. Now we will explain everything, including those things that didn’t make sense. To remind you and to summarize, the story was about a 7th grade boy by the name of Leibish Latecomer. He always came late for davening. For several weeks, he was given daily consequences for coming late and then there was a period of time in which his coming late was ignored. His principal and the rabbeim pretended they didn’t notice that he was coming late.
The focus in part two was what happened on the first day that circumstances made Leibish come on time. We shared how his principal called him that night and thanked him for making his day easier by coming on time. That reward caused him to be on time the following day. The second day that he came on time all he got was a thumbs-up gesture from the principal. The end of the story was that Leibish continued coming on time for the remainder of his seventh grade year and the entire year in which he was in the eighth grade. An amazing success story but also one that can teach us lots about this counterintuitive theory and method that works wonders.
The focus in this final part of It Makes No Sense is to explain how this works and to encourage you to try it. In my experience (used hundreds of times) it works ALL the time with children and with adults. The issue is how do we deal with negative behavior and how do we succeed in changing that behavior. The theory is called The Reinforcement Theory and it is much more detailed than just the idea of praising and rewarding good behavior. Allow me to explain and follow along in our example. While I am going to try to convey lessons detailed and taught in a whole book just focusing on this theory, I believe that you can get enough information about the theory to apply it correctly and to see wondrous results.
The reinforcement theory can be easily applied, and it has just a few basic ideas. In fact it boils down to one main point and that is that reinforcements, positive or negative, influence behaviors. This means that people do things again after there has been reinforcement to the first or previous time.
Now let’s follow the steps that took place with Leibish and apply the theory to the actions taken.
The behavior that we wanted to change was Leibish’s coming late. We wanted him to start coming on time. At this point he was coming late and he was being given a consequence each time with something more severe than the time before. The consequences did nothing to change the poor behavior—his coming late—but it did lots to reinforce the negative behavior.
You may recall that one day he was even rewarded with a trip for a hot chocolate on one of his days of coming late. That worked the same as the loss of a recess period because it was still a reinforcement. It makes no difference whether the reinforcer is of a positive nature or a negative nature. Thus, the title of the articles is It Makes No Sense.
The bottom line is that by giving Leibish consequences all we were doing was assuring that he would continue coming late. Therefore, if we wanted to stop his late coming we need to stop reinforcing it. That is exactly what happened in part two of the test. Rabbi Moskowitz and the rabbeim ignored Leibish’s lateness. They made believe as if they didn’t even notice him coming late. Did that change the behavior? No! But that at least the set in motion what would happen if and when Leibish would ever come on time.
Before we go any further, while I said that this method works wonders, it will only work if you show lots of patience. For example, in the situation with Leibish, it took many weeks of ignoring his continued late coming without paying any attention to it and without reinforcing it any more. Is it possible that Leibish would have forever continued his late coming because just ignoring his late coming wasn’t going to change his poor behavior? Definitely! However, one thing we know for sure. By applying consequences we will surely not change the behavior and all we are really doing is reinforcing the negative behavior.
Finally, as Rabbi Moskowitz predicted, Leibish did make it to school on time one morning. That is the behavior that we wanted to have continue and to reinforce. That was the time for the reinforcement of the positive—of the behavior that we did want to have continue.
In sticking with the theme that it makes no sense, even if Rabbi Moskowitz would have applied a negative consequence for Leibish’s coming on time and for example he would have taken away a recess period, it would still be reinforcing the behavior of coming on time and it would make it likely that he would continue coming on time.
In summary, the idea is that any behavior that you want to have continue needs to be reinforced. Let us stop reinforcing the negative behavior, let us patiently wait until we find just one time that the proper behavior is happening, and let us begin reinforcing the behavior that we want to be repeated.
I would like to conclude with an amazing part of Hashgochoh Praotis. As I was writing the last part of this article, my computer flashed the arrival of an email. I stopped and looked at it and I will share it with you, except for the identity of the sender.
The email read:
Hello Rabbi,
I just wanted to thank you for coming to to teach us parenting skills.I have been trying to put into practice what you said re positive reinforcement.We have seen amazing results and we are very happy about this.Could you direct me to more of your articles on parenting and educating childrenplease?Thank you.
Sincerely,
It worked for me, it worked for this parent, and it works for anyone who tries it correctly. Join the club and see positive results with the help of Hashem!
Before you read any further, please accept my apology. The message in this series of articles is so important that I feel it needs to be shared, even though it can’t be done in just one article. I suspect that the message will be delivered in three parts and it will require keeping track, from one week to the next.
The title of this article is both misleading and it can be applied to so many situations in life. It is misleading because it suggests that we disregard something when it makes no sense to us. On the contrary, in this article I will begin laying the foundation for an idea that makes no sense when you hear it but it works wonders each time you apply it. I wish I had one dollar for each parent and each teacher who doubted this theory and became surprised at its effectiveness once they applied it. My suggestion is that before you write it off as something that doesn’t make sense and therefore will not work, you consider trying it.
One more point of introduction is that for this to work one needs to pay close attention to all the components of the theory and have some patience for things to play themselves out.
In almost any presentation that I make to both parents and teachers I try my best to include the idea of this article and instead of just telling you the theory, I will describe a lengthy picture of how this theory was applied and we will then go back and see what the actual ideas were behind the practice.
For the sake of privacy I will change the names in this story; however, most of the details are real and actually happened in one of our yeshivos.
The first scene of this story takes place in the Yeshiva’s Bais HaKenesses, the room in which the students in grades 5-8 daven each morning. Supervising the davening is the Menahel, Rabbi Moskowitz and role modeling how to daven properly are the Rabbeim, Rabbi Adler, Rabbi Berkowitz, Rabbi Goldberg, and Rabbi Davidowitz.
The daily minyan begins at 8:00 each morning and one of the expectations of all the students was to be in their seats at 8:00. This expectation applies to all students, regardless of how close or how far they live from the Yeshiva. Rabbi Moskowitz and the four Rabbeim were in their designated spots at 7:55 each morning, ready to greet all the students and begin the day in the right spirit.
By and large, the students were cooperative and they respected the expectation to be on time. That is with one difficult exception – Leibish Latecomer. Leibish would stroll into the Bais HaKenesses any time between 8:15 and 8:30 each morning and he still had his eyes glued shut on many mornings. You guessed correctly if you assumed that he lived around the corner from the yeshiva. He was actually the student who lived closest to the yeshiva.
This began on the first day of the new school year which coincided with the beginning of Rabbi Moskowitz’s tenure at that yeshiva. In a preliminary staff meeting between Rabbi Moskowitz and the Rabbeim, the expectations were spelled out clearly. However, even against the protests of Rabbi Goldberg, there were no consequences set in place for what would happen if an expectation would not be met. Therefore, Leibish came late day after day and nothing happened to him.
At the first meeting of the school year, after three weeks of the new term, Rabbi Adler brought up the issue of Leibish’s lateness and he suggested that Rabbi Goldberg was right after all that it was necessary to have consequences in place. Rabbi Moskowitz listened carefully to what all the Rabbeim had to share about the situation and they all seemed in favor of taking some serious action with Leibish. They drew up a list of what would happen the next time that Leibish would come late, what would happen the second time, the third time and so on. They created a list of what would happen all the way to Leibish coming late on eight occasions. They felt that it was safe for them to stop after eight times because by then, after so many consequences, he would surely learn his lesson.
Rabbi Moskowitz disagreed with all the Rebbeim and he suggested that this system wouldn’t work and if they felt that consequences were necessary, they should realize that the consequences were not going to make him come on time, not after one time, not after eight times or ever. Rabbi Moskowitz agreed to go along with the plan devised by the Rabbeim not because he liked it or thought it would work. Rather, he knew that it wouldn’t work and he wanted to teach this valuable lesson to the Rabbeim.
The next day came; every rebbe was in his position at 7:55 and all the students arrived before 8:00. That is all, except Leibish. He strolled in at 8:20 with his eyes barely open. The Rabbeim all looked at Rabbi Moskowitz and one even raised one finger, implying that today we go with consequence number one.
Immediately after davening, Rabbi Moskowitz, following the pre-set list of consequences, informed Leibish that he had lost his morning recess period. While Rabbi Moskowitz was vehemently opposed to taking away recess privileges from students and didn’t approve of that form of consequence, in this situation he went along with it because he was following the plan that was agreed to. He felt that it was all going to be an ultimate benefit to the entire yeshiva by having the Rabbeim learn some critical lessons.
Leibish spent the morning recess period sitting alone in the Bais HaKenesses and he didn’t seem phased by the experience. That afternoon during their lunch break, the Rabbeim had a heated discussion on whether or not Leibish was going to be on time the next day. Most said that losing just one recess period wasn’t going to do the trick and it would take much more than that. Rabbi Berkowitz was the lone voice, feeling that since Leibish was a good boy in general, all he needed was a firm reminder that yeshiva began at 8:00 and the loss of his recess was that reminder.
The next morning the Rabbeim appeared in the Bais HaKenesses earlier than usual, waiting to see when Leibish would arrive. 7:55 came and went and the hour turned 8:00 with no sign of Leibish. While the Rabbeim were davening with great kavonoh, as they understood their role as role models, they did peek out from the corner of their eyes every few minutes to see if Leibish Latecomer has arrived. It was finally during Kerias Shema that Leibish strolled into the Bais HaKenesses. He took his seat with an obvious understanding that he was in for another consequence that day.
After davening, Leibish was summoned to Rabbi Moskowitz to hear the verdict for his lateness on day two. On the second day his consequence was the loss of two recess periods. This practice continued day after day and each day Rabbi Moskowitz dished out the consequence prescribed for that day… to be continued